We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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