Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
