Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
