Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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