just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize