maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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