Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
