Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
