clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
