Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he thought i was a dude.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
