everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
