Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
