she told me i tasted like america
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
