I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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