swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
