You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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