So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize