i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
