Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
