i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
