So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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