yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize