What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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