I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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