I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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