woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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