you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
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A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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