Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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