My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
