So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
