all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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