Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
