i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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