well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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