Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
