that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
