Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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