i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
