Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
