I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
