I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
