i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug