i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".