drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
