Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
