I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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