All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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