i just wanna soil my oats bro
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
