Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
