she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
