I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i think i have two assholes
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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