? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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