Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
