I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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