No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He has the fingertips of a God
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
