i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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