This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
should my penis look like a turkey
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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