Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize