I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
