just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I licked your asshole in confidence.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
