I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
