just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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