Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize